This started as a Facebook post, but it went on so long that I figured I ought to post it here.
I had the craziest but extremely detailed and clear dream last night. I dreamt I was walking through a "mall" but in an old building, like Dewitt Mall in Ithaca or Thorne's Market in Northampton. There was a small Tibetan woman who had a small booth selling Buddhist items. I started talking to her, and she handed me some cards and told me to choose one. I picked one called "Grey" (one of my favorite colors). She told me that it said that I wasn't doing the world any good by not being awesome. That I needed to show my true self all the time, but I didn't know why that true self was. She said my true self was kind, loving, sparkling, adorable (she used that word). She said I DO show that, but that I needed to do it more. What she said was basically this quote from Marianne Williamson:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
I love this quote! I read this article last night, which probably contributed to my dream. If you know me, you know that this is NOT me. I have pretty low self esteem. I was raised to be put on a happy face when things were truly crappy. I was so meek in high school that people thought I was a snot because I couldn't talk to other people (NOT because I thought I was better, believe me). I am grateful to be friends in real life now with people that I wasn't friends with in high school. I think (but I've never asked) that some of those friends were amongst those who thought I was weird in high school. I was Ally Sheedy's character in The Breakfast Club, but I really wanted to be more like Molly Ringwald's character (at least in looks and in popularity). But that's not ME, not even now.
So, to shine is NOT easy for me. But I get it! What if we all showed our fabulousness and delighted in the fabulousness of others? What if we complimented instead of belittled? So, GO and be fabulous today, and I will try really hard to do the same!
I will start with five things I think are good about myself:
1. I am kind to other people. If I see a stranger wearing something nice or with a great hairstyle, I will tell them so. I hope that it makes their day. It might be the only nice thing they hear all day and might turn their mood around.
2. I think I have a good eye for color and style. I love browsing through my own Pinterest boards. My home is beginning to look like my Home board, but I need to dress to reflect my style more.
3. I have really smart, really adorable kids. That's not all me, of course, as they have an awesome dad.
4. I am a good cook.
5. I am funny. Well, my husband laughs at my jokes, anyway, so either he's deranged or I am funny. I hope it's a little bit of both.